Town Jubilee
by rampantjake
Summary: Storybrooke's summer fair is here and Regina feels she's been tricked by Emma and Henry. /Just a fun and sweet drabble thing/
1. Chapter 1

_**(Authors notes- this is based around the image I had in my head when I woke up. Once you see what image I had of Regina, you can guess what kind of dream I had Anyway, this is just a sweet and silly short drabble)**_

"Emma, I'm going to kill you", snorted Regina from behind the locked door of her en suite bathroom as Emma and Henry, already in costume, waited impatiently sitting on her king size bed bedecked in ivory satin sheets.

"Yeah, yeah. You say that so many times it's lost all meaning", smiled Emma as she adjusted the knot of Henry's tie, a casual excitement radiating from them both.

"But….", continued the Mayor but was cut off once more by the Sheriff.

"'Gina, just balls up…or whatever the female equivalent is, and get ready. You've been in there for twenty minutes, surely it shouldn't take that long to put on a costume?"

"Well I spent the first twelve minutes plotting a gruesome demise for you", Regina replied flatly, "No wonder you didn't give it to me until the last minute"

"So kid, you looking forward to today?", asked Emma diverting the conversation away from the Mayor as she fiddled with her leather chaps which were a bit too warm for a beautiful sunny day like this.

"Yeah, it's going to be so cool", smiled back Henry thankful that a truce had been called between his two mothers. A truce which had thawed their animosity to the point where, much to the surprise of both women, a true friendship had even been kindled between the two.

"I've never been to one of these town jubilee parties before. What goes on?"

"Oh you know, the usual, Ma", he said using the term they had settled on for Emma. With Regina being called Mom for so long they needed another moniker for the woman who had swept back into his life these past months in a blur of leather and sarcasm.

"The usual? What's the usual?", she asked pushing back the brow of her cowboy hat. Her Annie Oakley costume seemed most appropriate for the Sheriff of the town, she was just glad it was left up to her to get the outfits for the three of them as she knew if it left up to Regina they would've been dressed like accountants or something equally mundane.

"The vegetable growing contest, tug of war, all the usual things small town fairs get up to"

"Fair enough", shrugged Emma wondering how this little boy had changed her world so much that the humdrum clichés of suburbia actually seemed appealing, "'Gina, aren't you ready yet? The fair kicks off in thirty minutes and you have to officially open it."

Regina gulped audibly as she could conjure a mental image of her in her current attire being on the tall stage in the middle of the town square being gawped at by the feckless citizenry.

"Remind me to thank Miss Blanchard for suggesting a costume theme for this year", came the voice from the bathroom, no longer bathed in loathing, but seemingly to have an etching of worry to it.

"She only came up with the idea, the whole planning committee voted on it. I seem to remember you being quite vocal against it"

"I was. I still am. But I was in the minority. And thankyou so much for voting _**for**_ such a ludicrous idea"

"I thought it would be fun, besides, Henry loved the idea, right kid?", countered Emma as she knew Regina could always be outmanoeuvred when it came to their son.

"Yeah. Miss Blanchard helped us all with our costumes at school too"

"What's she coming as anyway?"

"Snow White", he replied deftly.

"Really?", said Emma with a crooked brow, "What a dork"

"Mom. We're going to be late", said the young boy as he scratched behind his ear using his magic wand, impatient to show off his outfit.

"It's alright for you two, at least your costumes have a little dignity. I'm the Mayor of the town, I have a position of respect and responsibility. You can't honestly expect me to run around looking like this?", squawked Regina, her voice echoing ominously around her tiled bathroom.

"Oh come on 'Gina, everyone thinks you're all kinda up tight, this'll let them see your playful side"

"Playful side?", snorted Regina as she struggled to get her headpiece to sit right atop her head, "I'm sure you do these things just to vex me, Emma"

"Meaning?", replied Emma with faux innocence.

"When you said you picked me up an outfit of a powerful woman I was expecting Elizabeth the first, Margaret Thatcher or even Jackie Kennedy", blustered Regina as she finally opened the door silhouetting her frame in the warm bright light of the day, "_**Not**_ bloody Wonder Woman!"

As Henry smiled widely seeing his mother finally letting her hair down, Emma tried hard not to giggle at the knee high red boots, the star spangled panties and the low cut tight top which threatened to spill out the Mayor's more than ample breasts at any given moment. Regina stood with hands on her hips, but instead of showing off her distaste it seemed to all that she was sinking into character.

"I-I can't see anything wrong with it", Emma said as, for reasons she couldn't understand, she felt her tongue dry out and her heart beat that little bit faster.

"You could've at least me got a costume that fitted", huffed Regina feeling the squeezing of her midriff and breasts under the outfit, though she still feared the blushing she would no doubt be showing when the townspeople saw her dressed like this.

"What? You look great, doesn't she Henry", said Emma as her eyes skimmed along the smooth creamy thighs of the Mayor. Wondering why her gaze seemed to be snagged on the golden trim of her costume lining Regina's plunging cleavage

"Totally", grinned Henry, "And you need something light if you're going to be in the apple bobbing contest"

"Apple bobbing? You expect me to dunk my head in a bowl of water and pluck out apples with my teeth?", snapped Regina with a touch too much venom.

"Sorry", said Henry a little sheepishly under his mother's stern words, "I-I though with your love of apples and everything…..besides, I already signed you up for it"

"You what!",

"'Gina…please", said Emma with a calm soothing voice nodding towards Henry, looking smart in his Harry Potter costume, with tears brimming his young eyes.

"I….Henry", said Regina seeing the sadness on her son's face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout at you. But you should've asked"

"So you won't do it?", asked the young man with a nod accepting her apology.

"No, I don't think someone in my position should be seen….."

"Sorry kid", said Emma as she toyed with her plastic six shooter, "But it looks like your Mom's a chicken"

"A chicken? You think I'm scared? I'm not scared of anything", snorted back Regina, a slave to her ego, never one to back down from a challenge.

"So you _will_ do it?", asked her son with a bright smile blossoming on his face.

"I…", began Regina but before she could protest any further she felt Henry's small arms hug her tightly round her waist.

"You're the coolest, Mom", he said with such enthusiasm that Regina knew she was cornered. To back out now would cause such disappointment to Henry that it would wound her to see his sorrows, but watching Emma's wry smile the Mayor knew she had walked straight into a trap.

"I…..fine", sighed Regina as she ran a hand through her darkened locks with its golden headband catching the bright sun with each movement.

Shaking her head she picked up her car keys and lead the trio away from her boudoir as she whispered to Emma, "You've not heard the last of this"

"Ok 'Gina, if you really don't like your outfit you can always change into something else", said Emma as they trailed down the stairs towards the front door and the awaiting populace of Storybrooke who would be reeling with shock in a matter of minutes.

"It's a bit too late for that", retorted Regina. Not in reference to the hour of the day, but the sweet smile now fixed to Henry's face as having his mother, for once, not being the stuck up tight ass she had a reputation for being. Now he could see a glimpse of the fun loving mother he always secretly hoped she could be.

"So Madam Super Heroine, are we ready to save the damsel in distress and get the baddies?", grinned Emma widely relishing in the sight of the haughty Mayor breaking down her walls one piece at a time.

"One more word from you _Miss Oakley_", said Regina casting back am equally wry grin, "And Wonder Woman will tie you up with her lasso of justice"

"A-and…oh…I…", stammered Emma, her bluff called as she watched Regina take Henry's hand and walk out the front door, adding a little extra sway to her hips perfectly framed by the high cut of the costume.

"It's ok, Ma. You can still show how cool are you too", said Henry as he turned back to Emma who wore a slight hint of blush. "I mean, you do like blueberries don't you?"

"Er, yeah actually. Why?"

"I signed you up for the pie eating contest", he said with the innocent joy of a child as the door shut with a firm bang.

As Emma's face blanched she found it only intensified the giggles spilling from Regina's ruby red lips.

For it seemed their son was far more cunning that either of them had thought.


	2. Chapter 2

_**(Author's notes- I wasn't going to do a second chapter but I thought 'why the hell not'. Hope it's not too disappointing)**_

"Uuurgghh, I haven't felt like this since that home-made candy cane wine back in middle school", groaned Emma as they slowly made their way home, one hand lazily holding her bloated stomach as the other was slung around Regina's shoulders for some much needed support. Her face and shirt smeared with blueberries though a small sense of smug satisfaction clung to her stained lips.

"I told you this would happen. You look like you just fellated a smurf", sighed Regina as she cast a tired gaze over to the whining Sheriff. "Lucky I carry mouthwash with me at all times"

Henry bounced around in front of them swinging round the giant stuffed panda Emma had won for him, seemingly happier than he had been in a long time, but each step from Emma only made her innards churn all the more.

"How could I say no to Henry, he signed me up for that stupid pie eating contest…..but on the bright side, I did win. Never thought I'd beat Leroy but I did."

"But at what cost? I don't think either of us will ever be able to hold our heads up in public again", Regina said with a shake of the head and a glint of acute embarrassment still lingering her eyes.

"Meaning?", groaned Emma.

"Meaning how is anyone ever going to forget the image of a gluttonous Sheriff throwing up on Snow White….I dread the next PTA meeting. Not to mention my little…_ahem_…..'wardrobe malfunction'", said Regina with a shudder as her mind recoiled to the events of just two hours ago.

_**FLASHBACK**_

"I'm just saying that maybe Snow White ain't as wholesome as you think", said Ruby as her glossy red lips wrapped around her cigarette rolled with cinnamon papers.

"What do you mean? She's the fairest in all the land and the symbol of innocence and purity", replied Mary Margaret as her fingers plumped up the wide white collar of her dress and gave a quick thanks to her Jenny Craig program that she could fit in it once more, though the hidden corsetry was still a little on the lung punishing side.

"I was on youtube the other day, y'know, checking out Japanese ska pop and shit like that, and I came across this song called 'Sonne' by Rammstein. Well it presents a version of Snow White that I think is probably closer to the truth than all these lame ass story books say", the waitress said as the silver phantoms of smoke curled from her nostrils as the whole town buzzed around them in costume awaiting the official start of the Jubilee celebrations, "You should check it out"

"I…what? In all the books she was as chaste and loved as anyone, and defeated the evil Queen and…"

"Don't be so naïve, Mary. But for arguments sake let's say all those fairytales were true, history is always written by the victors. After the evil Queen fell from grace it was up to the winners to write their version of it, of course they painted themselves as the do-no-wrong saviors and painted the people they didn't like in a bad light just so they would seem justified. It ain't as black and white as you think"

"Ruby, have you been drinking?", asked the pixie haired woman with a flickering brow.

"I'm not drunk, if that's what you mean but I thought I'd best get the beers in before the Shriners arrive and…oh _heeeelllo._ Now _**who**_ is that?", said Ruby as she nudged the school teacher who was busily making a mental note to scour the internet for said libellous video.

"I've no idea", said Mary-Margaret as they looked on at the back of the woman dressed as Wonder Woman who was currently bent over at the waist, her flawless legs arrow straight, searching in her bag for something as she showed a pair of perfectly sculpted buttocks clad in tight shiny lycra.

"Yummy, now that is an ass that needs to meet my lips", the waitress said as she sweated profusely and cursed her costume idea, no matter how shiny and creaky it was.

"Oh Ruby, don't you ever want something more out of life than just chasing every piece of skirt that drifts into town?", sighed Mary-Margaret.

"Not really", shrugged the young woman currently dressed as Selene from Underworld, the sun flaring along the glossy black latex smothering her skin. "Now _**that**_ is a chick I would love to…."

"No, don't tell me. I don't want to know", spluttered the school teacher holding up her hands in surrender.

Ruby smirked as she dropped her cigarette to the ground and stomped it out before strutting over towards the glorious peaches calling out to be plucked. As she walked Ruby winced at the squelching noises coming from her boots from where the sweat was pooling rapidly. Her outfit creaked with each slight movement and though she was wilting under the harsh sun it seemed like a good idea at the time. Such was the curse of mixing alcohol and eBay.

Ruby, a little tipsy, ran her tongue over her parched lips as she moved ever closer to Wonder Woman who mumbled quietly rummaging ever deeper in her bag.

"Hey there sweet cheeks", said Ruby in her customary cockiness as she placed a firm and ringing slap to Wonder Woman's shapely derriere, "You wanna go get a drink an' maybe go for a roll in the hay"

"Ahem…..do you find such an approach _actually_ works, dear?", said Regina as she snapped up to her full height and span round on her red heeled boots to stare directly into the waitress' eyes with hands on her curved hips. She had already erected her prickly defences on the walk to the town's Jubilee Fair in order to disguise the mortifying embarrassment she felt rampaging through her system being dressed in such a way.

"Regi…..M-Madam Mayor!?...I….I…", squealed Ruby in shock as her pupils spilled as if they were cartoon eyes about to pop out on stalks.

"My, my, dear. You look very… hot", said Regina clicking her fingers to drag Ruby's gaze away from her plunging cleavage.

"T-Thanks"

"I didn't mean it like that", Regina as her eyes rolled dramatically as she toyed with the bottle of perfume she finally found in her bag, "I meant you're probably in dire need of rehydration before you pass out"

"Oh", replied Ruby feeling like a complete tool, "Right"

"Best stay near the medical tent dear, don't want you collapsing during the day's festivities", Regina said patting her on the shoulder in a manner befitting a condescending mother hen.

"I….er...I should go". Ruby's words stumbling out inelegantly as her face burned red whilst she backed away.

"Yes dear, I think you probably should"

But as a faint glimmer of a smile graced Regina's face she couldn't help but feel her self-esteem get a little boost, that even though she was on the wrong side of thirty her Pilates classes and thigh-master had managed to keep her body as toned and supple as it was back in college.

"Oh man, you really burned her", laughed Emma wondering just why her heart felt the prickles of jealousy flare up the moment Ruby's palm struck the Mayor's curved rear.

"What can I say? I just think a Lady should be treated as such", Regina said affirmatively as she sprayed a little Dior on her slender neck.

"It's pretty stupid of her to wear something like that on a day like this", said the Sheriff glancing up to the bright sky and pulling at her heavy shirt which was making her sweat, "Woulda made more sense to come as Beach Barbie in a bikini or something"

"If it's such a good idea why didn't _you_?", Regina said with a taunting echo.

"C-section scar. It seemed Henry couldn't find his way out so….slicey-slicey"

"How graphic"

"Regina there you are, we're waiting for you to officially open the…..the….oh my", coughed Sidney as he made his way through the crowds to find the Mayor, screeching to a halt and dropping his copy of the days schedule as he suddenly noted her outfit.

"Sidney, please roll your tongue back in. It's not very dignified", Regina chided gently for she was well prepared for any snarky comment to come her way this day. She was in politics after all and had been the recipient of every barbed snipe imaginable ever since she took office.

"Huh? Oh….right", he replied as he stared on dumbstruck at her uber tight outfit. It seems the hobo Sidney gave some change to was actually a genie granting all his wishes.

"Henry, will you stay with Emma? I'll be back in a bit", said the Mayor as she felt her nerves tingle her skin as she cast an eye towards the wooden platform in the center of the town square where the microphone stood patiently. The structure seemed like a gallows to her, taunting her towards her doom.

"Gina?"

"What?", replied the Mayor as her trepidation cracked through her mask of confidence.

"I…er…I mean…", blustered out Emma like an awkward teenager before leaning in to give Regina a small kiss on the cheek,"…..good luck"

"I…..oh….", replied the usually debonair Mayor, but the small, yet heartfelt, token of support warmed her heart which still bore the scars of failed romance.

Emma offered up a shy smile, one that Regina mirrored catching them both off guard as her hand reached up and let her fingertips trail over the smudge of lipstick now residing on her cheek.

"Mom…..the speech", Henry said in a loud whisper tearing them both from their moment of surprise.

"The what? Oh yes….of course", said Regina blinking away her confusion tainted with the hint of a blush, but as she stepped up the wooden platform her nerves seemed to slide away, bolstered by such a small token of affection, though she wondered just how platonic her friendship with Emma actually was.

Staring across a sea of faces the Mayor took a steadying breath and tapped the microphone making all eyes turn towards her. Eyes which instantly bulged and were forever marked with the sight of Wonder Woman standing proudly above them, hands on hips and breasts which looked like they were struggling to escape their lycra prison.

"Well I just want to say a big thankyou for coming to support our wonderful town and our little fair, so enjoy yourself and have a lovely time. I now declare the Storybrooke Town Jubilee officially open", Regina said with gusto but instead of polite applause all she got was shocked faces and writhing men, all staring on dumbfounded.

"Oh for god's sake", sighed Regina pinching the bridge of her nose realising everyone would be stuck in this trance unless she did something. Striking an action pose she reeled off words, "Stop a bullet cold, make the Axis fold. Change their minds and change the world!"

The libido straining staring finally broke and clapping rang out as Regina descended from the stairs. She let out a deep breath and accepted the smiles and applause. It felt strange to have the townsfolk act so friendly to her which made Regina tumble from her comfort zone, but she couldn't deny its warmth. A warmth which slithered through her body pulling her lips into a genuine smile.

"Regina, what was that about stopping bullets and stuff?", asked Mary-Margaret feeling, for once, as an equal.

"Well Miss Blanchard, let's just say that Wonder Woman isn't exactly an unknown show to me", said the Mayor recalling well how she and her dear departed father used to watch it every Saturday in his den, it was their little ritual.

"I can't believe Emma convinced you to wear that, you must really like her"

"What do you mean?", Regina replied, her face screwed up in confusion.

"Emma. You know she's the biggest Wonder Woman fan out there? At Abigail's bachelorette party we all started shooting tequila and played truth or dare. I won't tell you the details but….I think your friendship means more to her than you think….if you get my drift"

Regina turned round and saw the open stare of Emma scanning every inch of the Mayor, once her gaze was caught Emma's face flushed red as she turned away awkwardly.

"Did she now? I think I may have to have words with our dear Sheriff later….but what else did she say? About me I mean", said Regina suddenly baulking at the adolescent echo to her own words.

"Well…."

"Could all contestants report for today's contests, the apple bobbing is first. Come to me and I'll assign your numbers", Sidney said through the PA system wrenching the Mayor from her fledgling discoveries.

"Dammit….I-I have to go", Regina said excusing herself from the presence of Henry's teacher and trying not to show just how embarrassed she was lining up next to Archie, August and Abigail by the barrels of water peppered with floating apples.

As Regina swallowed deeply her eyes scanned the crowd gathered around them, but in their midst she caught the sight of Henry who bore a beaming smile before giving her a little wink. His fingers twisted into shapes as he signed 'I love you' to her, it had been a long time since she had taught him the few words she still knew of sign language from working as a counsellor at Summer Camp back in her gap year but it was like their secret code which belonged to just them.

Regina's eyes danced with love for her child but before she could wallow in the tenderness of the moment a shrill whistle blew and the contest started. The next minute was a blur for the Mayor but she was never one to back down from any challenge as water and cheers of encouragement flew all around them.

"Ah won…..ah won…..ihn your fashe Hobba", cheered Regina in victory thrusting her fists in the air in celebration still with a glistening red apple firmly fixed between her pearly white teeth mangling her usual eloquent words as she taunted Dr Hopper.

"M-Madam Bare…I mean Mayor", coughed David who was judging the contest which had drawn a decent crowd curious as to why Regina was stepping down from her pedestal for once and joining in with the festivities.

As Regina celebrated her triumph she paused wondering why there was no polite applause, just stunned silence, slack jaws and wide eyes.

As the water from the apple bobbing ran down in splaying rivulets, her hair wet and plastered across her face, Regina looked down to see her soaked outfit was indeed much too small and her breasts had sprung free and were swinging like glorious pendulums moulded by Rodin.

"Oh please Archie, like you haven't fantasised about a moment like this" sneered Regina hoping that an aggression lined aloofness to the situation would divert her from the soul scarring humiliation she felt as she forced her boobies back into her top.

_**END FLASHBACK**_

"It wasn't _**that**_ bad, Gina", said Emma as she flopped down on the suede sofa feeling gross and sticky as they finally made their way back to the Mayoral house.

"Not that bad? I can't believe that….oomph", Regina grunted as Henry barrelled into the living room throwing his arms around his mother and hugging her tighter than he had in a long time.

"You're the coolest Mom, so are you Ma", he grinned impishly as Regina ruffled his hair.

"You….you had a good day then?", asked the Mayor basking in the warmth of his smile. A smile that she had shamed herself to put there, but it was the finest reward she could've ever hoped for.

"Totally. It was the best day EVER! You guys are so cool", he said before sprinting up the stairs to start downloading photos.

"So…it wasn't a total disaster then?", Emma said raising a brow hopefully as she lounged on the sofa like Hedonism-bot.

"I….it seems not. We both made complete asses out of ourselves ….but we seem to have made our son very happy, and that's more important than anything"

For the first time since the Jubilee celebrations had been a part of town life Regina had actually enjoyed herself, to be able to let go for once despite the embarrassment. To relinquish her responsibilities even for just an afternoon, to just have fun without care or consequences for she could worry about them later.

"I…..urrgghh", the Sheriff groaned as she unfastened her belt which was squeezing her unmercifully.

"You're not going to be sick again, are you?", asked Regina worried about her suede sofa for she knew well how hard it was to get stains out of it.

"No….I just feel really gross"

"Oh come here"

"W-what are you doing?", Emma said as the Mayor sat next to her and felt her head being moved to Regina's lap.

"Get your mind out of the gutter Miss Swan, just lie still", the Mayor said with a wry grin and she slowly rubber small circles on the suffering Sheriff's bloated stomach. "I used to do this to Henry every Christmas whenever he ate too much pudding. Better?"

"Mmmm", Emma purred as she felt her senses slither away under a cloud of warm attention before firing off a suggestive smirk, "But…maybe a little lower…..ow"

Regina just giggled as her soft slap to Emma's temple seemed to steer her mind back from the brink of a torrent of innuendos.

"You know…..this Wonder Woman outfit is going straight in the trash tonight"

"W-what? Why? You can't", snipped Emma with wide eyes before she realised her words had spilled.

"And why not, dear?", Regina sing-songed flicking her neatly shaped brows to a jaunty angle.

"Because….er….it…er…."

"It's covered in cotton candy and god knows what", Regina said picking at the sticky stains she would normally never be seen dead in, "You know Miss Blanchard told me about that party…. the tequila…. and the Wonder Woman thing you have"

"I-I _**so**_ do not", Emma said with a fierce blush as she tried not to make it too obvious she was nestling ever closer into Regina's breasts.

"You know….Emma….we should have a real talk", Regina said finally broaching the subject both of them had been dancing around for a while, but neither would be the first to admit. Especially when there was a gurgling gullet of blueberries about to explode at any given moment should the conversation veer into unexpected territories.

"About what?"

"You….me….us", the Mayor said as her other hand ran softly through Emma's matted hair.

"Us?"

"Must you parrot everything I say?"

"Parrot?"

"Emma, I…oh to hell with it", Regina said as she leaned forward to plant a soft and fleeting kiss on Emma's lips. The pressing of skin made both of them tingle as eyes fluttered shut as they sunk into the tenderness of the kiss.

"Oh….", the Sheriff said as Regina pulled away once more running her fingers through blonde tresses.

"You taste like blueberries", grinned the brunette as she, for once, let all her defences down though it terrified her to show her real feelings,

"So…does this mean…. you know … if I got another Wonder Woman outfit would you…..", asked Emma hopefully with a blush as she lay in the arms which cradled her tenderly, reaching up to wipe a blueberry stain from Regina's glossy lips.

"Maybe….", Regina said as she leaned forward and purred sexily in Emma's ear, "…..but why bother with that…as I believe I still have my old cheerleader uniform somewhere"

"…..", Emma's mouth opened and closed as no words could form, her breath caught in her throat as she tried to choke out some kind of a reply but the mischief dancing within Regina's eyes showed her that no answer was needed as the Mayor leaned forward to plant another soul searing kiss on the ailing Sheriff.

As Emma reached up to cup Regina's cheeks they drifted away into a realm of their own, neither of them noticing the impish grin of Henry who peeked round the door with his walkie-talkie in hand.

"So….did it work?", crackled Mary-Margaret's voice through the handset.

"Yep….mission accomplished", smiled Henry as his devious plan finally came up trumps.


End file.
